The TRANSITION MISSION

Your mission, Jim,

should you choose to accept it, is…

You recognize that quote. It’s the opening scene to MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE. Of course, Jim always accepts the assignment; and we get to enjoy the adventure.

Sometimes in life you do have choices. You can choose – even volunteer – for the mission.  But sometimes the mission is simply forced on you, and then you have to navigate the challenges.

Transitions

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about TRANSITIONS.  Often it’s as simple as going off to college or wanting to change jobs. Other times it’s finding yourself an empty nester, being ‘let go’ from a job, or becoming single after years of partnership. Or maybe you are moving from one place to another, just lost someone you love, or realize that you must RETIRE.

These transitions – or CHANGES – all force you to ask yourself similar questions:

Who am I NOW?

How will I spend my spare time?

Which people will I surround myself with?

How am I going to find fulfillment?

I‘ve heard lots of the answers.  Many people think that they will be fine because they are comfortable financially.  And yet there are many ‘rich’ people who are very unhappy and lost. Others look forward to the change and they will simply “take it as it comes.” Maybe…, for a little while.

Each transition happens to a different you. It’s important to take a good look at who you are NOW. Then you can explore what you really want and make a plan for how to get there.

Coaching You Through the Transition

As a coach, I don’t give you the plan.  Only you know what will make you enthused about getting up in the morning. But coaching will help you decide what you really want and what’s been stopping you from getting there. Once you are armed with that information, you’ll sharpen your focus and be ready for what lies ahead.

CHANGE – Some people can handle it just fine, and others, ‘not so much.’ Whether you are Jim (or Janet) and find that your

  • Relationship is changing;
  • Lifestyle is changing;
  • Attitude is changing;
  • Job/place to live is changing;
  • You’re getting married/Having a baby/Becoming empty nester; or
  • Yikes! You’re going to Retire (!)

having a coach makes a big difference as you navigate the new environment. The “Transition Mission” is yours – and you have to choose to accept it.  Let me help you make it an exciting

MISSION: POSSIBLE!

Loretta

Stop Multi-Tasking and Start Noticing!

Multi Tasking

Why is it we women pride ourselves in being good at multi-tasking? Sure, I get it; life is so full that we have to be on the alert to all that was/is/will be/may be/should be/could be.

But sometimes it’s important to just

be present in the NOW.  

Once, on the first day of one of my writing classes, the teacher walked into the room and said, “Hello, everyone. Your first assignment is to describe what you noticed as you walked in the door of the building and found your way to this classroom.”

Almost everyone froze. Noticed? Along the way? We were ready to write creative stories or funny experiences, not what we noticed. We soon realized why she had asked.*

When was the last time you noticed – really noticed – what you were doing when you were doing it? Sure, you can watch the football game and brush the dog, or be on a conference call and file papers but is anything going to be done well? And how’s your anxiety level when you put papers in the wrong place or miss the play of the game?

I have several suggestions for you to help control the multi-tasking. And they actually have the great side effect of helping you relax as you become more present in the present.

But first, a “TO DO reminder” for handling your TO DO list:

ToDoListMake each day’s list with the understanding that if not all of it gets done, you will catch up tomorrow

(Last time I checked, there were no medals being awarded to the person who does the most in a day.)

  • Slow down. Whatever you are doing, slow down.  How many times have you made mistakes because you were doing something too fast – driving/talking/typing an email, etc.  Spell check will not take control if you just reread the email.
  • Delegate some of the ‘to do’ items to others. Picking up the cleaning is certainly something someone else can handle. Ask.
  • Take a little time each day for yourself. Here’s where I’m going to give a plug to meditation. No repeating mantras or sitting cross-legged on the floor.  In fact, I really like an app   that guides you – for only eight minutes a day. It involves simply sitting in a chair, concentrating on your breathing, and controlling your thoughts. It’s called HEADSPACE. Go to the App Store, and get it on your phone. That way you are always ready to ‘take eight’ and relax.  And, by the way, there is no right way to meditate.  Try it, and reap the rewards.

So whether you call it multitasking or task switching, it’s time for women to brag about something else!  Any suggestions?

~ Loretta

*Good writers notice things. When the writing class traced our steps back to the entry, we found we had walked past a blue bicycle leaning against a wall, a roped-off side hallway, a row of hooks with two sweaters, and a children’s bathroom in which low sinks were easily visible!  None of us noticed any of it.

Photo credit: © Can Stock Photo Inc. / HaywireMedia

Decision Making and the 6 Basic Human Needs

6 Basic Human Needs

How do you make major decisions?  Flip a coin? Use a Dartboard? Let the answer depend on whether you see three red cars (!) on the way to work?

One thing that will help you in making choices is to understand yourself better. Realizing what you really need in situations gives you support in your decisions..

Here is a list from best-selling author Tony Robbins of the Six Basic Human Needs that we all have.  Regardless of the situation, how you value these needs will help direct the choices you make in life.  They are:

STABILITY

The need to have control and predictability in life. Whether it is to follow a routine or to simply be in control of a situation, this is how you feel secure.        

VARIETY

Some say, “Variety is the spice of life.”  This need for change invites in excitement and adventure.

SIGNIFICANCE

The need to feel special, valued for your efforts and recognized as an individual of importance.

LOVE AND CONNECTION

The poet John Donne wrote, “no man is an island.’  Through bonding and communicating we find purpose and meaning in life.

GROWTH

That which does not grow withers away. We all need to broaden ourselves intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually to really experience life.

CONTRIBUTION

Giving, caring, and serving others takes us outside ourselves.  Doing something for the greater good gives significance to life.

The key here is SELF AWARENESS. Remember, ALL of these are Basic Human Needs. The question for you is how to prioritize them.

WHEN FACED WITH A DECISION, consider the importance of each BASIC NEED (on a scale of 1-10) AS it RELATEs TO the SITUATION. BE honest with yourself.

For example, suppose you are a person who rates SIGNIFICANCE (10) and  GROWTH (9) highest in your life, and your job gives you none. You thought your paycheck was enough but the lack of recognition and little chance to advance  cause you a lot of stress. This realization may help you make the decision to look for another job where those needs are met.

If you really value VARIETY(9) and find yourself in a relationship that is too predictable (Wednesday night is pizza night), you can try to change it or move on.  Some people may just want the stability that a relationship brings. But can you be at your best without the spontaneity that  you really feel you need?

 Whether in business, relationships, or simply dealing within your community, considering these basic needs helps you understand what makes you choose what you choose.

Remember we are all different.  Once YOU recognize YOUR priorities, you will be more empowered in your choices.

self awareness

And, yes, you can put this list into your ‘Empowerment Toolbox!’

~ Loretta