Your mission, Jim,

should you choose to accept it, is…

You recognize that quote. It’s the opening scene to MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE. Of course, Jim always accepts the assignment; and we get to enjoy the adventure.

Sometimes in life you do have choices. You can choose – even volunteer – for the mission.  But sometimes the mission is simply forced on you, and then you have to navigate the challenges.


Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about TRANSITIONS.  Often it’s as simple as going off to college or wanting to change jobs. Other times it’s finding yourself an empty nester, being ‘let go’ from a job, or becoming single after years of partnership. Or maybe you are moving from one place to another, just lost someone you love, or realize that you must RETIRE.

These transitions – or CHANGES – all force you to ask yourself similar questions:

Who am I NOW?

How will I spend my spare time?

Which people will I surround myself with?

How am I going to find fulfillment?

I‘ve heard lots of the answers.  Many people think that they will be fine because they are comfortable financially.  And yet there are many ‘rich’ people who are very unhappy and lost. Others look forward to the change and they will simply “take it as it comes.” Maybe…, for a little while.

Each transition happens to a different you. It’s important to take a good look at who you are NOW. Then you can explore what you really want and make a plan for how to get there.

Coaching You Through the Transition

As a coach, I don’t give you the plan.  Only you know what will make you enthused about getting up in the morning. But coaching will help you decide what you really want and what’s been stopping you from getting there. Once you are armed with that information, you’ll sharpen your focus and be ready for what lies ahead.

CHANGE – Some people can handle it just fine, and others, ‘not so much.’ Whether you are Jim (or Janet) and find that your

  • Relationship is changing;
  • Lifestyle is changing;
  • Attitude is changing;
  • Job/place to live is changing;
  • You’re getting married/Having a baby/Becoming empty nester; or
  • Yikes! You’re going to Retire (!)

having a coach makes a big difference as you navigate the new environment. The “Transition Mission” is yours – and you have to choose to accept it.  Let me help you make it an exciting



Control the Things You Can Control



Next time you find yourself ‘stuck’ and wondering what to do, here’s a piece of advice to remember:



Stop for a moment and repeat this mantra to yourself.  Then follow it!

Think about how often you assume you know what other people are thinking (She thinks I’m showing off; He thinks I eat too fast) so you respond based on that. Alert: you cannot read other people’s minds.

Sure, it sounds logical and so simple.  Yet often we are caught up in the details of a situation and decide that if only other people would do_ _ _ _ _ _ , it would solve everything. Another alert: Try as you might, you cannot make people change.

Save Yourself Frustration

It will save you a lot of frustration and headaches to simply remember to “Control the things you can control.”

Here is a situations I often hear:

I’ve gone on several interviews for a new job, and the interviewers don’t seem to really care about what they are doing. When I answer their questions, they seem to barely listen. I’m a good worker and well qualified. How can I make them pay more attention?

Here I try to make clients realize that to improve the situation, they have to work with what they really can do. I’ll ask them to really consider how they project themselves. Perhaps they should rethink their questions so they really interest the interviewer.  And, of course, remember to smile and act confident. These are within a person’s control.

Another situation:

My eight year-old daughter has a friend whose parents are really laid back. When my child goes to their house, the kids sometimes end up eating junk food and watching scary movies. When my daughter comes home, she can’t fall asleep and doesn’t feel that good. How can I tell those parents that they have to be aware of what the kids are doing?

Change the parents? That idea not only won’t work but also will probably cause a break between the kids. So I ask, “What can you really do?” That’s when ideas like:

      • “Make most play dates at our house;”
      • “Limit playtime with that child to a short right-after- school visit,” and even
      • “I could take the kids to a park or somewhere myself.”

Remote Control

Just thinking about controlling what you can control makes you choose solutions you know you can implement. It’s amazing what control you do have when you think about it. 


Photo credits: © Can Stock Photo Inc. / ra2studio, / bds, Celebelle

Get Out of “Stuck”

Stuck in the Mud

Are you in a ‘stuck’ mode?  Just like a car stuck in the mud, you keep pressing the gas in the hopes that the car will magically sprout wings and fly up and out of the soft dirt.

But what happens? The tires keep spinning and the car doesn’t move.  You know that there must be another way but maybe you’ll just keep trying one more time.  So you step on the gas and get in deeper; and then you wonder why you are stuck.

Sometimes you are stuck in a relationship.

You know that the person is not really good for you or makes you feel depressed but you still keep calling and spending time together.

Sometimes it is a job.

You really don’t like the people you work with or what you do.  You rationalize that it is a paycheck, so you have to stay put.  Then you end up feel anxious all the time and never appreciated.

Sometimes it’s your dreams.

You have an idea for a new career or moving to a different city, or simply spending more time doing what you do well.  What is stopping you from making your dreams a reality?

Here are three easy steps to

help you get out of stuck

  1. Tell yourself the truth about why you are stuck. Be honest and tell yourself why you stay in a place where the tires are spinning, and you don’t feel like you are ever making any forward progress.
  2. Ask yourself what you really WANT. Whether it involves your relationships, work, or dreams for the future, take time to think about what you really want – the who/what/when/where/why are all good questions to ask.
  3. Make a plan of action to move in the direction of success. You noticed I left out following the ‘how’ in the step above. That is because HOW deserves its own step.  This would be a good time to look in your ‘Empowering Yourself Toolbox’ that I am developing for you.  (See previous blogs).  Use the tools, and come up with a plan of action – one step at a time – and get going.

Stop wasting time spinning your wheels.  Get started moving towards what you really want.

Then you can change your clothes; they’re really muddy.

~ Loretta

Photo credit: jimmy thomas