Help Someone Shift to Positive Thinking

Positive Thinking Jumping for Joy

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / Dee21

Sometimes people just need a little help to shift from negative thinking to positive thinking.  When your kids, friends or co-workers start complaining and being negative with ‘poor me,’ ideas, YOU can be the person who turns it all around.

Here’s an example from a recent morning … one of the women who work at the Membership Desk at the YMCA wasn’t busy when I checked in. She looked bored, so I smiled and engaged her in conversation:


            Me:  How’s your day going so far?

            Her: Much better now that I’ve had my coffee and woken up. 

            Me:  Did you have a late night?

            Her: No.  I’m just used to sleeping in now.  I have to change that schedule when I begin teaching.

            Me:  When do you start?

            Her:  August 1st – that is sooo soon.  Summer was way too short.

            Me:  It’s all in how you look at it.  Try telling yourself, “Wow! There are

             still two and ½  weeks left of summer.  I have time to do some fun

            things.”  (I paused for a moment.) So, what are you going to do?

            Her: (thinking) I don’t know.  (Soon she starts talking fast.)  I’ll go to the pool a lot; I’m doing a 5K ‘Run in the Dark’ next week; and I’ll work and make some extra money and go shopping.

  (And she flashed a big smile with eyes shining in all directions.)


Why fight negative thoughts?  First of all, positive people get more out of life; and secondly positive people are much more fun to be around, which in turn spreads positive feelings in all directions. They tend to be more energetic, try new things, and certainly enjoy life more.

Just remember that people are in charge of their own thoughts.  Of course, there are times when you will have doubts and feel negative. That’s normal. The question is do you let yourself believe those thoughts or do you acknowledge the negative ones and then move on to replace them with a better outlook.

Here is an interesting infographic for you to consider. (By the way, an ‘infographic’ shows information and data graphically in a simple, clear and quick way.)

http://www.happify.com/hd/how-to-stop-negative-thoughts-from-getting-you-down-infographic/?srid=hfp

In my MAKE HAPPY A HABIT campaign, I shared how doing five simple things every day for 30 days can actually help you rewire your brain toward happiness. My Accomplish-Coaching Instagram @makehappyahabit has 30 days of daily encouragement to spread around.  #makehappyahabit

Make Happy a Habit with Loretta Saff

Five Simple Steps to MAKE HAPPY A HABIT

1 – Practice Gratitude: First thing each morning say out loud three (3) things you are grateful for.

2 – Journaling: Before bedtime, write down one good thing that happened that day.

3 – Meditation: Spend 2-5 minutes listening to wordless music, focusing on either the music or your breathing.

4 – Exercise: Exercise at least 20 minutes a day.  If you are short on time, this can be done in two 10-minute intervals.

5 – Be KindPerform a random act of kindness.  Hold a door for someone; compliment the salesperson who helps you or surprise an old friend with a phone call or email.

Sometimes people just need a little help.  Remember that when you start your day.  Whether it’s your child, a friend or a co-worker, YOU be the person who helps shift a mood from negative to positive.

The great thing about your being the spark for others is that  you’re also helping yourself. Negative thoughts get pushed aside, and suddenly you find yourself surrounded by positive people!

Now, doesn’t that sound nice?

Life is Good

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / Nelosa

Loretta

Make Happy a Habit-Join the 30 Day Challenge!

 Make Happy a Habit with Loretta Saff

Are You Ready to MAKE HAPPY A HABIT?  

Get ready…, Get set…, Go!  It’s almost March 20th, the United Nations-sanctioned International Day of Happiness. This is the day we make sure to not only do what makes us happy but also to spread happiness by encouraging all around us to do the same. But what if you just don’t feel happy? What if you call yourself more of a ‘glass half-empty’ kind of person?

Assuming that you really don’t enjoy being that way, I challenge you to take the next 30 days to MAKE HAPPY A HABIT! I’ll give you the steps so you become empowered to look at the world differently and feel the joy and contentment you deserve. The #makehappyahabit campaign begins March 20th. You’ll see daily support on Instagram, Facebook, TwitterPinterest and anywhere else you can help me  ‘share’ it.

Strong and Healthy

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / 4774344sean

There is real science behind the emotions of happiness and love. Dr. Barbara Frederickson, Psychologist and Neuroscience Professor at UNC, Chapel Hill said, The ways that we feel happiness and well-being are actually showing up in the cells of our immune system and supporting our health.”  What a great testimonial!  Why wouldn’t we want to Make Happy a Habit?

My challenge to you is based on the work of psychologist and happiness researcher, Shawn Achor. Surprising as it sounds, he says that it is possible to re-wire your brain to be happier.

Rewire Your Brain Make Happy a Habit

You don’t have to wear a smiley-face hat or tell funny jokes. Simply doing the following five activities daily can rewire your brain towards happiness. (I include my order to just give you some idea of fitting it into your day. You organize it however it is convenient for you.)

 1 – Think of three things you’re grateful for.

I like to do this – out loud – in the morning when I get up. I encourage those around me to join in.  It’s a good family tradition.

2 – Write about a positive experience from the past 24 hours.

I do this in the evening. I keep a notebook on my nightstand. This simple activity has the amazing power of changing your entire mindset. You will comb through the day, tossing aside the negative and focusing on the positive.  Guaranteed to make you smile.

 3 – Exercise (at least 20 min)

I am a morning person, so I make time before breakfast to get in my exercise. Whether it is a brisk walk, time at the gym, or climbing stairs, give yourself 20 minutes and increase your activity.  I’m including  four short videos of easy five-minute exercises on my website. Do all four in a day and you’ll have your 20 minutes!

 4 – Meditate (5-7 min)

I find that meditating mid-afternoon works for me.  No need to think mantras or posing cross-legged on the carpet. The simplest meditation can be sitting quietly listening to soothing music  (no words) – and focusing on either the music, your breathing, or a body scan from head toe. If you want some guidance, I like the free app HEADSPACE, which you can use with your earphones while sitting at your desk.  Meditation calms and centers, helping you focus and better handle whatever comes your way.

 5 – Perform one random act of kindness.

All day every day is a good time for a random act of kindness. Performing a selfless act that helps, compliments, or encourages someone has an amazing effect on all involved.  You’ll enjoy every minute.  To help get you started, I’ll post of list of suggestions on my website,

YOU CAN DO THIS!  In fact, YOU CAN GET YOUR KIDS TO DO THIS!!! Encourage everyone around you to get involved.

Parenting_Make-Happy-a-Habit

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / dolgachov

I will post the MAKE HAPPY A HABIT! Challenge on social media starting March 20th, and it will continue for 30 days.  Don’t worry if you come upon it in the middle; just get on board and get started. You keep count of your 30 days.

Please leave a note on one of the platforms below or comment on this blog post to let me know how you are doing. Post some pictures of what you are grateful for and what makes you happy. I want to know how your random acts of kindness and writing about your positive experiences made you feel. Tell me about your time in meditation. And be sure to tell me when you start feeling like HAPPY is becoming a habit.

Good luck! And get your camera ready – you’ll be finding yourself smiling a lot more.

Loretta

#makehappyahabit


Share Your Progress by:

  1. Instagram – FOLLOW @MAKEHAPPYAHABIT for inspiration and share your own pictures of what makes you happy
  2. Facebook – LIKE /MAKEHAPPYAHABIT and post an update about how the challenge is changing your outlook
  3. Twitter – FOLLOW @ACCOMPLISHCOACH and tweet your own progress
  4. Pinterest – FOLLOW /ACCOMPLISHCOACH and start a Happiness board

Don’t forget to include #makehappyahabit in your posts

Photo Credits: brain-circuit-2939906 / Celebelle

3 Mental Mindsets to Banish Valentine Disappointment and Have a Great Day

Valentines-Day

It’s in the air and in the stores; it’s out there screaming to us: “Buy Something!” A sweater or chocolates?  Flowers or jewelry?  A new briefcase or wallet?   Here’s a test:  Which would you rather have:

A new watch or Unlimited time with your special someone
A box of chocolates or Fun in the kitchen making chocolate cookies
A Hallmark card or A few personal, handwritten lines that make you feel special

This Valentine’s Day, I urge you to consider and cherish your relationships.  Be careful that the media and the merchandising do not sweep you away to the point that you find yourself feeling disappointed.

Companies look at the calendar for ways to make more money.  You know it; you’ve experienced it.  Remember how Christmas crept into the stores right after Halloween and even before Thanksgiving turkeys had a chance to gobble?

Here are are 3 Valentine’s Day Mental MINDSETS to banish disappointment and make the day great!

AVOID COMPARISONS  – Just because Janet got a new wedding band for Valentine’s Day or Anne Marie received an expensive nightie, it does not mean that their relationship is better or stronger than yours. Gift-envy has been the downfall of many couples but if you look closely, you might find that the relationship you admire has it’s own issues.  Relationships are not measured in the cost of gifts.

BEWARE EXPECTATIONS – It’s true that we are bombarded daily by merchants/social media/television and from just about every other direction to remember our Valentine in special (and mostly expensive) ways.  So, … you start to think, and then wish, and then … EXPECT.

If you don’t fill yourself with expectations, you won’t be disappointed.  If it means a lot to you to celebrate Valentine’s Day, talk about it with your husband/partner. Don’t test him to see whether or not he responds.

SHOW YOUR LOVE IN UNIQUE WAYS – 

Plan an “I Love You” dinner date on an unexpected day! Be sure to fill it full of surprises!  How about your own special progressive dinner:  an appetizer at one restaurant, main dish at another, and dessert somewhere else!   Each of you can come up with two surprises during the evening.  Often the element of surprise adds fun – and spice! – to a dinner out. (And, anyway, do you really want to spend all that extra money on a ‘”Special Valentine’s Day Menu?”)

Focus Valentine’s Day celebrations on your kids – or any kids.  Children always appreciate the extra attention, so share the day with them.  And be sure it includes special hugs and at least one “I love you!”

Make Valentine’s Day a day of gratitude.  Have each family member make a list of three things for which he/she is grateful. Why should Thanksgiving Day be the only time we go around the table and say what we are thankful for?


In a famous experiment,  Drs. John and Julie Gottman, researchers in creating stronger relationships, observed interactions between 130 newlyweds during a day at a bed and breakfast retreat. They saw that throughout the day, one or both partners would try to make connections with the other by bidding for their loved one’s attention. In some cases the wife or husband would “turn toward” their significant other and in other cases he or she would “turn away.” Those who chose to pay attention to and engage with their significant other were more than two times as likely to be together six years later. Through observing these interactions, the Gottmans can predict with up to 94 percent certainty whether couples will stay together or break up in the future.


Notice that it doesn’t say anything in there about whether he/she got a gift for Valentine’s Day. However you choose to spend February 14th, consider that over your morning coffee!

~Loretta~

Photo Credit: © Can Stock Photo Inc. / Gitusik